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19. Being very envious and possessive toward my personal girl at any time another mascara lesbian/femme kind entered the bedroom.

19. Being very envious and possessive toward my personal girl at any time another mascara lesbian/femme kind entered the bedroom.

In case your gf will probably flirt, she’s likely to flirt. Acting like a deranged, hyper-jealous mind case isn’t attending end any individual from carrying out something. Actually, it’ll best worsen her want.

20. Flirting with female cops, TSA representatives, security protections, as well as other feamales in uniform because I thought they certainly were homosexual.

We lust after a lady in a consistent, but unfortunately not absolutely all women in clothing crave after myself.


Everyone loves those long, pointy Lana Del Rey fingernails. But my ex-girlfriend failed to value all of them when I attempted entrance with those tough talons.

Oh, the sacrifices all of us manner lezzies must alllow for intercourse! Luckily for us orgasms have more confidence than acrylic nails flavoring.

22. Faking an orgasm.

You may be able to https://sugardaddymatch.net/ fake sexual climaxes with people, however can’t fool a sex, honey. Learned this package the hard way.

23. Unprotected sex, because, you know, “lesbians can’t get STIs.”

I’m astounded I managed to make it off my personal naughty step (We say “slut” in an empowered ways! Don’t worry!) without catching every STI in the sunshine.

Used to don’t know what a dental dam had been while I ended up being 21. I imagined it was things they trapped inside throat from the dental practitioner. And that I hate the dentist.

24. Playing inside “helpless femme” label.

Even though culture associates femininity with weakness doesn’t suggest i need to play the role. Screw that. We don heaps of mascara, look great in pale red, and certainly will save myself personally from whatever tragedy.

25. dropping crazy while squandered at lesbian activities.

“Owen, I’m crazy” we once slurred to my personal closest friend during the now-defunct Williamsburg homosexual club “Sugarland.” The next early morning I woke using my center beating and my personal throat as dried out because Sahara wilderness.

I was abruptly overloaded with uncomfortable memories of pronouncing my like to a female whoever term or face i really could not keep in mind. For the next 12 months, we lived-in incessant fear of run into this female once more.


26. phoning my gf my personal ex-girlfriend’s name.

Though I did discover a great way to escape this. If you name the girlfriend the ex-girlfriend’s term, only duplicate the following:

“Oh hottie, I’m SO sorry. We called you their name because We connect the woman with concerns and I’m exhausted immediately! You Won’t Ever worry me , which is the reason why they seems international to say your stunning name once I become stressed.” Works magically.

“Only a lesbian could imagine that,” my buddy Kevin thought to me personally whenever I told your how I have from phoning my personal girl a bad label. He’s not completely wrong.

27. considering I got a “type.”

We regularly genuinely believe that I liked ladies with short-hair who have been taller than me personally. Now I recognize we don’t discriminate.

Butch, femme, stalk, tall, short — i love all sorts of lesbians (as the French will say, lesbiennes). Purr.

28. Playing hard to get.

I accustomed consider basically blew off a romantic date or didn’t text the lady We lusted over back once again, she would just like me considerably. I then knew that that video game doesn’t use people (about not positive, mentally-stable female). It just makes the lady genuinely believe that you’re a manipulative small twerp, and she doesn’t have time regarding, OK?

29. Slipping up and advising a female regarding basic Tinder time I experienced already looked at the woman Instagram.

“Oh, yeah, your cat, Fred! He’s soooo pretty.”

“How have you figured out i’ve a cat named Fred?”

Crickets. Crickets. And more crickets.

30. Convinced the initial girl I actually dated ended up being the passion for my entire life and that would I never get over the girl.

One lesbian cut will be the strongest, but I promise you, my personal heartbroken baby lesbians, you’re perhaps not supposed to end up with the most important girl your date. Actually, you ought ton’t end up getting the very first woman you date. Your feelings are too away from whack, the bet are too high. Plus, to know very well what you truly like, you ought to get within and day as many different women as you can.

So dried out those tears, babe. You’ll overcome the lady. We big-sister-lesbian vow.